Crazy Love! *This time not the book :)

I read this article called “Why Women in Their 20s Rush Into Marriage” and it really got me thinking/ made me sad. It basically was saying that, either women had already been in a very good relationship and it ended leaving them thinking they would never be able to find that again, or they were in a comfortable relationship and marriage was just the next step. They admitted to not even feeling that crazy love for their spouse, but that everything was comfortable and worked so why not. I don’t know about you, but to me, life is not about having a roommate that you happen to have children with for the sake of having children. I think why this hits so close to home for me, is that I have a good mix of friends who are single as well as married, and I see this in my own circle. Some of my best friends are married to the loves of their lives, and it is such a beautiful thing to witness. I am going to straight out name Britt, Tiffany, Leslie and Jena for being a wonderful inspiration for me on how to be a wife and mom. *Disclaimer, because I feel someone will ask, yes my parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles are all wonderful examples as well, but for this post, it is about people my age and friends. Ok back to my girls. If you spend any time around these ladies, or know them, you know they have found the person who loves them completely and that they love the same way. They have such wonderful children because they are in a loving family where the kids will grow up respecting the other sex because of the example their parents showed.


On the other hand, I also have married friends who, personally, I do not see the spark. I am in NO way, shape, or form naming names, nor am I saying that if you are not Britt, Tiffany, Leslie, or Jena then you are in the category. I am simply saying, you yourself have confided that it was comfortable and you wanted to be married so you did. I am not pointing a finger or blaming anyone. I, myself, was two weeks away from marrying someone I was comfortable with. Luckily, I had examples of that crazy love so I knew I had to take a chance that there really was something like that out there for me. I was a victim of having, what I thought at the time, was a perfect relationship and lost it. I felt I would never find that again, and it only came once. So the next best thing was someone I was comfortable with. Everyone was getting married and I wanted to be married. It was a really hard thing to do, but calling off that wedding was the best thing. I am not one who wants to get divorced, and so I knew I had to call it quits. I feel really sad for my friends who are in these comfortable marriages. I see them doing things that are not things that married people should be doing, which is also a sign there is a problem.

Now, let’s chat about the single ladies. For the past few years, I have been focusing on me, so I have been a single girl, and honestly at times, guilty of being the person I am about to describe. Every girl has a list, whether it is physical or mental, they have “criteria” they are looking for in their mate. Of course we all want someone who drives a Bentley, already owns a mansion, has no children, the perfect parents, and will inherit his father’s business. And then you woke up from your retarded dream you were having. Sadly, there are single girls out there that are seriously looking for that. They may not be those same exact things, but it boils down to someone who makes a lot of money and can buy them a lot of “things”. If “things” made us as happy as people do, then their luster would not wear away and we would not have to go buy some other new thing to feel that happiness again. It is a horrible cycle that a lot of people are stuck in. Finding someone who can take you on trips and buy you cars and purses is not the person you should be looking for. If you want to be in a comfortable marriage with the threat of divorce down the road, then fine, go with that. For me, I would rather be living in an apartment my whole life with the one person who makes me laugh and smile constantly and loves me for every inch of who I am, than be in a huge house with someone I am not completely in love with.

Single girls should be looking for a person who is more than the outside appearance. Find someone who adores you for your relationship with God, your brain, your kindness, and your potential for the future to raise children. Also, be with the person that has those same qualities that you adore. I know it is hard approaching 30 and still looking for Mr. Right. I have faith that it will happen for you, though. I mean, look at me. It just happens. And when it does, you know. If you don’t know, then don’t sit there trying to convince yourself. You could be missing out on the real thing. Pray and talk to God about it, and believe that being single your whole life is not His plan for you. Trust Him and work on being the best version of you, not a version of you that you want to be to attract someone fake. I believe the divorce rate is so high because so many people get married for the wrong reasons, whether it’s because it’s comfortable or because they just want to be married. I believe in love and romance and I wish for all of my friends to find it and have the best lives ever :)

The greatest love of all and best example of the love we should give and hope to receive in return, is the love Jesus has for all of us. He died for us. He loves us so much that he died, so we could live a better life. I am not saying physically die for someone, but to have that much love for someone that you only want the best for them and give them the best of you. As Christians, we are called to be the example of this kind of crazy love, and if you can't even give it to your spouse, then what are you doing? We were created to love. Love the lord, love your spouse, love your neighbors! Get rid of the negativity and be the loving person God created you to be, and you will find what you are looking for.
 
XOXO

I have the best friends!

I just want to take a moment to say THANK YOU to every one of my friends and family members that are just awesome. I am so thankful to have people who care and are supportive of me. You have listened to me whine about life, but most important, you were there with smiles and hugs when I had something exciting to tell you.  I have a handful of friends that I have either known for a long time, through church, school, or work, or just recently met, and I just want you guys to know that we have been through a lot and I love you!! I appreciate you being there for me and loving me. We may not get to talk everyday, week, or month, but when we do get to talk or see each other, it feels as if no time has passed. That is what a true friend is.

Proverbs 16:28

"He will give you the desires of your heart."

I absolutely adore this verse. There is so much power behind the words. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart! I think too many people misinterpret this and in the end get frustrated that they were not given what they desired. I struggled with this for a while myself. I thought I knew what I wanted, but over time, I have learned more about what it means to delight myself in the Lord, and realized that what I thought I was looking for was nothing but a stereotypical being that had to have certain character traits. I believe the Lord gives us things once we finally understand and are ready for it. Otherwise, we take it for granted and we end up ruining it. I feel like I have finally realized what it really is I have been looking for, and I asked for it daily. I believe the Lord works in mysterious ways, and events in my life all had to happen a certain way and in a certain order for everything to align just right. I am finally in a place where I have been given exactly what I asked for and I thank Him everyday for it.

My challenge to you, is to really think about what you want, or if you are upset that you think you deserve something you do not have, and just take some time to dig deep and try to understand why it is that way. Maybe you are not ready for it. Maybe what you think you need is not what God has planned for you. Do not be angry if you do not have what you want. Realize that there is something even greater than you can imagine that He has in store for you. But you must delight yourself in Him, and ask. You may get what you want in time, or you may realize that there was a reason God did not want you to have that.