As most of you know, or maybe you don't, I don't know if you do or not, but I am a very positive person. If something is wrong in life or bothering me, then only my family and close friends know about it. That being said, most of you don't know that I have been struggling for the past 7 months with this absolutely horrible pain in my left lower back and side area. The pain started off as just annoying and uncomfortable. Then, last September, I ended up in the ER after spending two hours sitting on the bathroom floor at work with a small fan and a water bottle while sick to my stomach from the intensity of the pain. The hospital gave me morphine and some fluids and were positive I was passing a kidney stone. After hours in the hospital and scans and blood and urine tests, they concluded that there were no signs of stones or any infection. The doctor pretty much told me he was clueless as to what it was and to go get my ovaries checked out.
Long story short, I go see the gyno a few times and do more tests and sonograms and everything looks normal. The next step: Laparoscopic Surgery! Basically she wants to go in with a scope in my stomach to see on the outside how my organs look and if that will bring a conclusion. I know some people say "Why are you freaking out? This is just a minor surgery" well yes, it is, but still! They want to knock me unconscious and cut me open to probe around in there! I am more worried about the unconsciousness. I do not like to be unable to control my body. I have been given serious pain meds and muscle relaxers over my time and I never take them because they make you feel like you are not yourself. So, the thought of being literally knocked out freaks me out. I have never had surgery before except my wisdom teeth taken out but i dont count that. That didnt involve cutting your stomach and searching your organs that keep you functioning in life.
The surgery is scheduled for Jan 27th so please keep me in your prayers because I am a little nervous and scared that I will do this and then still have no solution to the problem.
I know that the Lord will not give me anything I can not handle so I am drawing even closer during this time when I need to feel His arms around me. This is one of my favorite verses and I read it daily to remind myself to trust that everything will be fine.
"Dont be afraid. I am with you. Dont tremble with fear. I am your God. I will make you strong, as I protect you with my arm and give you victories."
-Isaiah 41:10
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