Crazy Love

I have been hearing people talk about this book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan, so Friday after work I went and picked up a copy. I started reading it that night and then when I woke up Saturday I read the rest of it. I could not put it down. Everything I had planned to do Saturday during the day was all of a sudden not as important as finishing the book. It was a huge eye opener for me. In the foreword there is a sentence that says "if someone were to look at your life would they call you a Christian?" that started the process of really examining who I am. I come from a church based family environment: My grandpa was the music director while my mom grew up, I have aunts and uncles that are pastors, and I myself was pretty involved in church during my school days. Now that I have been on my own, I am not going to lie, I have gone through periods of time where I did not attend church or even read the Bible like I used to. Looking back on those days, I can say that they were not my smartest days. Now, I have found a new church to call home and I attend and read the Bible more often. I felt pretty good about myself and who I was but I still felt stuck and incomplete. This book forced me to look at my life and examine it. To look at my daily choices and habits that create my lifestyle. Seven months ago someone, who I look up to and value their opinion greatly, told me some of the things that they did not agree with in my life. Granted it was based on how I looked on facebook, it was still valid. At the time, I was upset and sad that that person thought those things about me, but I can't deny I was that person. Since then, I have been trying to better that appearance, but I started Grad School and have been more focused on that. After reading this book, I realize that my habits and my priorities are up to no one but me. I thought if I did my best in school then that would bring happiness. Well, I made all A's and now I am concerned with this next set of classes so the happiness has worn off. I realize now that was a distraction in my life that was keeping me from growing closer to God. The only way to be truly happy is through Him, not by things of this world. From here on out, I am allowing all of you to hold me accountable. I need to makeover myself and start living like a true follower of Christ. I know I will fall short, but as long as I continue to pursue God then I will continue to grow. All that matters is how God sees me, but it really freaked me out because if that was how that person saw me then I was not at all ready to be before the Lord. I want people to look at me and there be no doubt in their mind that I am a Christian.